Overpacked

Posted by on Sep 26, 2010 in God and Life, Missions | 5 comments

It was when I went overboard in the travel section that I realized that I had a problem with security.

I stood among the bottles, tiny loufas, and mini tissues with the absolute glee of sensory overload. I was overcome by the cuteness of the 3 ounce sizes, the approved liquid amount for an airplane carry-on. I just had to have one of everything. I began grabbing, tossing, tumbling the items into my shopping cart. My husband attempted to interfere, but he was quickly silenced by my continued excitement. “It won’t all fit,” he stated matter of fact-ly. “It won’t all fit?!” Why, I had a beautiful, brand new Kelty Redwing 2500 backpack at home that I just knew had plenty of compartments to house the tiny treasures. “It will all fit!” I said enthusiastically as I plopped a frivolous bottle of Febreeze into the cart.

We arrived home, and I was eager to begin placing the items into One-Zip travel bags. As I quickly filled up one bag, I realized I would need to use a second bag. The reality of the situation set in. Did I really need all of these things? They seemed so important and necessary in the store. But when it came right down to placing them inside something that would be on my back for the next 6 months…my mind immediately began to prioritize. However, the ‘what ifs’ that echoed in my mind were deafening. I wanted to be prepared. Ready. Equipped.

In preparing for the Revolutionary Life International trip, I was the one always asking questions. Always wondering about the itinerary. Always wanting to plan. It became quite frustrating when I didn’t get clear answers. Sure, there was a loose itinerary, but it was nothing like what I was used to. I hadn’t been out of the country on a mission trip for more than 10 days at a time, and here I was committing the next 6 months to a trip that didn’t have everything more than half-way planned?

My personality is conflicting. I love to engage in spontaneous things. My idea of heaven on earth is a road trip with no destination. Doesn’t make much sense, does it? Ah, but there is one major difference: I would be in control of where to go on the road trip. I would choose which off-beaten path to take, which place to stop. However, when I don’t have control of the situation, I begin packing too many things. Whether it be physical items, or the luggage of worry, anxiousness, and stress. I like the security of being in control.

In deciding to spend the next 6 months in South East Asia with Revolutionary Life, I knew I would need to begin to slowly extract those tendencies of control. It’s been a steady process, and it’s been freeing, really. To live out of a backpack is one of the most obvious examples of downsizing your life. Before deciding on this trip, I felt like my life was weighing me down with too many things. As I felt the Lord leading myself and my husband toward our decision, I literally became lighter. The burden of the American Dream was slowly being lifted from my shoulders, and what was left was the will of the Lord. The will of Christ, which is the most freeing thing in the world once we succumb to its beckoning. Now, the very sight and sound of a plane taking off fills me with uncontained excitement and passion. I literally cannot wait to dive into the unknown, knowing that God will be directing my every step. He’s so much better at controlling things than I am, anyway.

Am I saying I am going to go back to the store and return all of my travel-sized goodies? Probably not. I have a feeling this trip will break me of my “just in case” packing. But who doesn’t need a travel-sized bottle of Febreeze?